Papang.

I remember stealing your eye frames

And shoving them under the bed

While you snoozed the sun away.

And I remember the satisfactory I got

When you realized you were blind because of what I have hidden.

You were stubborn.

You would hold your hands to your ears and block out your children's harsh words. 

I really did hope that the UPS guy would come in

And say this is the wrong delivery of death.

Your heart is in Atlantic City slot machines

But your body is underneath the islands soil.  

I don't know where this leads us
And I think I'm fine not knowing
Cause I have lost many pieces of myself
On our way here.
I'm recollecting them
Either to get you
Or get away from you.
I'm positive with you and I
I have nothing heavy to throw at you
Anymore.

Gun shot mug.

All I need
Is my gun
To get me through the day.
I need it in the morning to start off the interminable energy.
But when I crash I need another shot
of  coffee.

Home is wherever I'm with you.

They gave that boy a push

To push me

Far enough to make me believe

It's all gone and I've lost my way.

Time

Time is what it takes to remember the right path.

He's new to this area

I'm still showing him the way

And I still have my hand out waiting for him

To come back and grab it

So we can go back on our way

Our way 

To 

Our home.

Cursing the cursed.

Vague passion
Smacked onto my lips
You furrow your perfect brows
And stare at me
But not out of worry anymore
Just for our moment of intensity.
This is why I amputated
That part of me that
Runs around your mind
And renews the rotting self I was.
As you embrace me
And strike at what's behind me
With a harsh comedic remark
I call you a little shit
And you call me
A bastard.
But we know we're each others
Profound profanity.

I never wanna let go
And share.
To divide our time into separate portions
Just seems to puncture my ends.
This is too tangible
And I'd like to keep it like that
For this is mine
Not hers
Not theirs
And this can only be shared with you.
This isn't some remarkable swoon
But this is it
And it's worthy of being selfish over.

Honestly the only way I think I could grow up is if I move out. Here, I'm still labeled as a child when I know I'm so much more and this bullshit is no longer fucking appropriate. Everyday I just feel like I'm dry-swallowing my pride cause I know I'm too good to deserve this, I'm too free to be caged up by the paranoia swelling up in their minds. People and things are crazy but you can't anticipate and prepare for the worst especially when there's no potential of it even occurring. I do see the safety aspects but I just don't even think it's about that anymore I just think it's about being unhappy and if you're unhappy please don't let that be contagious, but these are dead roots ruined by often passing storms.