Maybe it's all out of wanting to be secure.

I'm sorry.

If I were to be an introvert for a while

I wouldn't have as many conversations I would have today. The majority of my friends wouldn't even fucking bother. Sometimes I feel that I put too much effort into a friendship I put 3/4 and my friends put 1/4 it's either that or I'm "unappreciative". Ha whatever I know I should be apathetic about this but it sucks.  

I'm terrible.

Sometimes I have the biggest urge to do specific things out of spite. I absolutely am terrible, Merry Christmas.

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Christmas Eve

I feel like being a fun sponge.
I wanna cry and be alone.
I'm being too dramatic
But this is how I feel.
I"m far from happy.
Bitter
Sad
Cold.

I wanna be able to proceed what I dipped my feet in...

I'll never understand the value of a family till I have one of my own.

It's December
The days sounds
Still
Quiet
Cold
No one wants to get caught in that.
What's worst is
Not knowing
If you're
Walking away
Or
Walking towards me.
Ready
Steady
The cold's catching up
I'm not happy.
I just want
To be
Away
And
Happy