Igloo

I am an igloo
Filled with icy knives
Cold
Closed
And Sharp
Surrounded by perfect white
Isolated by me
Candid is a no cando.
The freezing of warmth is interminable.
An abundance of cold whipping wind.
Made out of my own surroundings
To shield my own surroundings.
Just a crack to let people in
And let them out.
That's all I am
An igloo.

New
Yet still feeling continued.
The cold starting to make a move
The new breaks
The new light.
A lousy feeling overcoming me
Things aren't new
Things are the same
Sure let the ball drop
At the strike of midnight
Strummed out
High as a kite
Never wanting to come down
Unlike that glimmering ball.
The city wasn't freezing
A new sensation
With an old surrounding
January.

Left.

You were there ever since I was born
Didn't realize you were there till I was 3
I was standing the mirror disgusted.
I'm always scared you'd be seen
Before I get to explore a world
A new world.
It has been revealed in the smelly locker room
Where insecurities and poor self esteem
Make up the stench.

Here I am embarrassed of you.

I expect the least from you.

Usually I am optimistic towards people and I'm quite generous with hospitality and all that nice stuff but you? TUH! 

Maybe it's all out of wanting to be secure.

I'm sorry.

If I were to be an introvert for a while

I wouldn't have as many conversations I would have today. The majority of my friends wouldn't even fucking bother. Sometimes I feel that I put too much effort into a friendship I put 3/4 and my friends put 1/4 it's either that or I'm "unappreciative". Ha whatever I know I should be apathetic about this but it sucks.  

I'm terrible.

Sometimes I have the biggest urge to do specific things out of spite. I absolutely am terrible, Merry Christmas.

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