I remember the worried look on my Mothers face.

The frown she gave my dress

As she turned to Jackie questioning my apparel.

I really didn’t care

Unless you did.

I felt the little jitter arise as I got closer and closer to Barnes & Noble.

On the bus I was

Remembering my birthdays rejection

And assuming I was on my way to another one. 

I just thought it’d be simple and it would just be a forced pinch

Where I’d close my eyes and just go for it. 

You weren’t there when I arrived

And I waited and calmed myself down 

With a raw thought that this wasn’t going to be cooking.

But.

At last you arrived.

We sat down in the New Age isle

We didn’t have books stacked up 

We just had one that suited our imagination.

I knew your hands were itching to touch mine

Your lips were licked and ready.

That was the day you asked for more

And I grew generous. 

HEEE SHAM HAIKU

You know who it is
Push it to the limit while
You get a yummy body
He will plan today
With my girl Alyssa Ang
Healthy? So delicious
He likes to babble a lot
Once you're in jail can't get out
Gotta eat up to bulk
Gotta shower again, Mommy.

Nigara Falls

You told me if you had a choice of suicide
It'd be to jump and become one with Niagara Falls
And if you decided last minute you don't wanna die
You wouldn't be able to revers that instant jump/
The water would take over
No one would know
Not only would you loved ones be crushed
But also you
By the water.
The lottery ticket you bought a day or two before
Might have revealed you're another Trump.
The pack of cigarettes on your dashboard won't lead
To cancer
Anymore.
Maybe I'll burn the house down
Cause I won't get texts reminding me not to
I'd never get that profound moment
Of sharing a beer or two with you.

Finally we got up.

I decided that this time

I was going to wear your shirt.

I feared your windows

Exposing to all of Union Turnpike

We were glowing with 

That accomplished radiance.

I pondered the place you came to

After a long day

A bad day

A wonderful day.

Playing imaginary scenes. 

Opening the door with a 

Different face

For each day.

I wanted to witness it all.

You cooked me 

A colorful plate of 

Vegetables and chicken

And of course 

Rice.

As always you made it spicy.

Despite the fire in my mouth

I realized there was one

Between us the whole time.

I knew no glass of water couldn't 

Extinguish this. 

You later claimed you lived

In such a crappy apartment

But

That was it.

You and I. 

Your shirt.

Your boxers.

That was all I needed to feel belonged

In what you claimed a crappy apartment. 

 

Firm on the grip
I thought I wouldn't have let go
I thought I had this
But all I have now
Is about a few days worth of
Cabin fever
And an itch for
A surprise.
I never thought
My past would
Collide with my present.
I  don't blame
Anyone anymore.
When I'm limited
My mind is
Unlimited.
I'm creating my
Outside
Inside.

Suddenly Elated Xperience.

So you felt 
Incomplete
Begging for that
Little push
To ecstasy
You said.
That welcoming feel
Sets days like these.
This repeating feeling
Renewed each time
You received
That pull.
Sharing what 
We've always been 
Selfish over.
Finally 
A flutter.

A Bogus Boggie.

Such effort

And vague replies

For one little stick.

As the rain drops

How can you just

Deny your addiction.

It's growing again.

Remember

The times you recall

And elaborate further on

Stating that it's different.

I must be oblivious to this change.

All I see is 3 years of effort

Lightened up 

And filtered by

Marlboro Lights 100's. 

Lips and fingers 

Pressed and stained. 

The only type of gold 

You can encounter

Is that pattern 

On that box

That beholds

Carcinogens. 

Grumpy?

Well smoke up Daddy

Smoke up.