So I have a new habit at waking up at 6:40 don't know why but today I have school at 10:42 practically 11 and I have no school the next day woo! Anyways I was thinking about freshmen year cause I was talking to my friend Evan about it and man I grew so far from that direction I was heading. I was in the pupil of a spiral that consisted of terrible things. I was optimistic but so many things made me not even be optimistic nor pessimistic I was just taking everything in and being passive and letting people treat me like dirt. I cut class almost everyday towards the end of the year, there was absolutely not one day that I hadn't cut. I really just had no motivation towards life towards school towards anything. Honestly I was lost and miserable. The summer before I remember there was this month I didn't have an appetite for anything a bottle of water and I was done for a week I was full with such little portions. I was depressed but I kept denying it at the time. I didn't cry I didn't talk about it still haven't, and I don't know what hit me. It was a wave of depression I didn't force upon me I just rode along with the wave. No one even knew I still don't know why I was like that but I'm just a radiant light being now and pretty strong and wiser and people see me as a girl with a rainbow coming out of her ass just kidding ? But freshmen year was the year I experienced so many things the year I fell and felt the ground. Sophomore year was when I slapped myself and got it all together now I'm a junior now and college is closer and all these things that I can't just say fuck it to cause I sort of have no other choice.


I don't need to but I just really want to go shopping yeah I'm still a shopaholic after all these years. Hmm continental? flushing? soho? tangers? so many places to go and buy things from MWAHAHAHAH >=D