Suddenly Elated Xperience.

So you felt 
Incomplete
Begging for that
Little push
To ecstasy
You said.
That welcoming feel
Sets days like these.
This repeating feeling
Renewed each time
You received
That pull.
Sharing what 
We've always been 
Selfish over.
Finally 
A flutter.

A Bogus Boggie.

Such effort

And vague replies

For one little stick.

As the rain drops

How can you just

Deny your addiction.

It's growing again.

Remember

The times you recall

And elaborate further on

Stating that it's different.

I must be oblivious to this change.

All I see is 3 years of effort

Lightened up 

And filtered by

Marlboro Lights 100's. 

Lips and fingers 

Pressed and stained. 

The only type of gold 

You can encounter

Is that pattern 

On that box

That beholds

Carcinogens. 

Grumpy?

Well smoke up Daddy

Smoke up. 

These puns and ugly faces

And these butterflies I'd love to stab

And that interminable jaw pain I get when you're around

And the need to clean myself and my room up before 

you lay your head beside me in my bed

Must mean something.

Maybe this is a premature urge to say

What you said.

To finally return that mutuality

You thought you needed at first.

You make me want to be gushy

Annoy people with our affection.

You make me want to be different.

Maybe I have started falling down

That hypnotizing black and white

Spiral.

 

i wanna be

See I want to acheive the ultimate goal of becoming a better person. I want you all to feel at home when I'm providing you my time, sit down on the rocking chair and close your eyes and let your mind live for a bit. Here let me take off that coat you shield yourself with from the cold you're here now and you're warm now. I wanna be that amazing protagonists in those books that you can't get out of your head even after you have finished the book. I wanna show that growth and that depth in just a few chapters. 

I am the wick of a candle.
Burnt many times
But yet capable of letting a lovely scent drift
To your nose.
I'll mesmerize those raw eyes.
As I'm waiting for my flame.
My surroundings will melt
And a comforting aroma will arise.
This feeling of nostalgia
Never felt so warm.